


Crossing Lines

by NalgeneWhore



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22760701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NalgeneWhore/pseuds/NalgeneWhore
Summary: Lorcan and Elide have been best friends and next door neighbours for their entire lives. Completely head-over-heels in love with each other, they've both spent the past few years hiding their feelings. As high school comes to an end, it becomes more and more difficult to keep it from the other.
Relationships: Elide Lochan/Lorcan Salvaterre
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

Lorcan Salvaterre was in love with his best friend. There was not one ounce of doubt in his soul that he was a complete goner for her. **  
**

Right now, they were on their way to the football game and there she was, sitting in the passenger seat and rapping along to whatever song she had chosen.

_Uh, Martin had a dream_

_Martin had a dream_

_Kendrick have a dream_

_“All my life, I want money and power,”_ Elide was smiling, her lips, painted bright red, pulled into a wide grin, _“Respect my mind or die from lead shower, I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, so I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours!”_

Lorcan just shook his head at her antics and turned his gaze back to the road that lead to Elide’s school. 

Even though they lived barely ten metres apart, they were technically in different districts so they attended separate schools. 

She laughed as they pulled into the parking lot, rolling down her window and blasting Backseat Freestyle when she spotted a boy with beautifully brown skin and bleached hair, shorn short, meticulous wave patterns over his skull, his silk head wrap hanging from his bag, his helmet tucked under his arm. “Fen!” 

The boy turned and cheered, holding his fist to his mouth as he rapped alongside her, _“I’ve got twenty-five lighters on my dresser, yessir! Put fire to that ass, body cast on a stretcher!”_

Elide was opening the door and racing across the parking lot to him before Lorcan had even pulled into a spot, throwing her arms around Fenrys’ neck, “You didn’t show up to movie night!” 

“Yeah, I got a life outside the squad, Ellie,” he said, smiling as he set her down, slinging his arm around her shoulders. “Cute bow,” he flicked her cheer bow, attached to the base of her high ponytail. 

“Cute pants,” she shot back at him, slapping his ass. Fenrys snapped his teeth at her and they slowly started walking to the field, chatting quietly.

Just as they reached the gates, Elide swore and paused, “Fuck me, I forgot my poms! Shit, I’m so fucked.” She spun around, about to race home in Lorcan’s truck to get them and then saw Lorcan walking up, his football bag slung over his shoulder, her poms in his other hand. 

“Looking for these?” he asked, a brow quirked up and he smirked down at her. 

Elide nodded and smiled, reaching for them when he lifted them high above her head. She pouted and crossed her arms, sticking her bottom lip out, “Hey, that’s mean!” She just waited, fake sniffling and his restraint was shot, she was too cute and perfect. Elide grinned triumphantly as he passed them to her and rolled his eyes. “Thank you,” she said, wrapping her arm around his waist. 

Lorcan sighed through his nose and dropped a kiss on her head “Anytime, E.” They walked in step to the field. The guys were standing by the benches, smirking at the two of them and the look in Lorcan’s eyes promised a slow and pain-filled death.

The smirks dropped from their faces and Elide slid away from him, rocking on her tip-toes to press her lips to his cheek, “Good luck, I hope you lose.” 

She pranced away and he called after her, “I hope you fall and break every bone in your body.” Elide just flipped him off over her shoulder and he watched her for a few seconds as she joined the rest of the cheer squad. 

When he turned back to the team, they all had shit eating smiles on their faces. “What.” he snarled, tossing his bag to the bench. “Stop looking at me like that.” He used the hem of his shirt to wipe away the lipstick mark she had left.

It was Fenrys, of course it was fucking Fenrys, who began, “Lorcan and Ellie, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-” 

“I’m gonna fucking kill you,” promised Lorcan, feigning a move at Fenrys, who shrieked and cowered, waiting for a hit that never came. “Ha, got you.” 

“This is bullying, you know.” 

“Boy, shut your bitch ass up or I’ll do it for you,” warned Lorcan, his hands busy with adjusting his head band to keep his hair back. 

Fenrys just smirked back at him, “No you won’t, Ellie won’t let you.” 

All Lorcan could do was scowl, “Fuck you.” But it was completely true. 

**+*+*+*+*+*+***

At halftime, Yrene stood next to a seated, half dressed Lorcan, his jersey and padding on the ground next to him. She held his arm and twisted it this way and that, asking him where and when it hurt. “Y, I’m telling you, it’s not that ba _-ah, fuck.”_

“Not that bad, huh?” she asked, her eyebrow raised. “Sure, Salvaterre. Wanna go back on and tear it more? No? Didn’t think so, you’re not playing.” 

“But-” 

Their team physio-therapist shot him a hard look and he promptly shut his mouth, glowering at the ground. “Lorcan, I know you wanna play, but if you’re trying to get signed to a university, you can’t be hurting yourself in exhibition game, ok? Save yourself till playoffs.” 

“Yeah, fine.” He took the instant ice pack that she passed him and the roll of tape, fully prepared to wrap it himself, but then Elide appeared in front of him, worry on her face, her brows furrowed. “El, I’m-” 

She slapped him upside the head, frowning down at him. “You idiot, you told me you were fine!” 

“Ow, I’m injured, you can’t hurt the invalid!” he protested, passing her the ice and tape when she held her hand out for them. “I can do it myself, you know.” 

She snorted as she moved behind him, lifting his right hand to hold the pack on his left shoulder. “Oh, I can just go back, then, if you don’t need me?” 

“Shut up, you know I need you, I’m useless without you.” 

Elide laughed, the sound melodious and full. It was the soundtrack of his dreams, a sound he would follow when he woke only to have reality crash down on him. “Don’t you forget it,” she said, her tongue poking out of her lips as she concentrated on snugly wrapping the tape. She glanced up at him and he was sure that the blush on her cheeks was from the cold. “That good?” 

“Yeah, thanks,” he replied. He leaned to his bag to grab his cutoff tank top, pulling it over his head and missing the way her eyes ogled his bare and sweaty chest, warm brown skin with copper undertones glowing under the lights as she helped him get his left arm through the hole. “You cold, E?” 

“Um, yeah, I guess?” 

“Mm, take my hoodie,” he said, passing it to her. She grinned and accepted it, the article of clothing practically drowning her, not that she minded. Elide turned back to the field and Lorcan stood, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, his chin resting on her head. 

Elide hummed and held onto his forearms, tilting her head back to smile at him. “Am I staying at yours tonight?” 

“Yeah, whatever you want,” he murmured, brushing a kiss to her forehead. “Oh, I got your ticket.” 

Elide turned in his arms and looped hers around his waist, “Ticket? For what?” 

“My prom.” 

She scowled at him, her voice monotone, “Wow, what a beautiful and romantic Promposal, thank you so much, Lorcan, of course I’ll go with you.” 

“You won’t go unless you get a Promposal?” he questioned, leaning down to press his forehead to hers. “Spoiled brat.” 

Elide pinched his side, hard. It was somewhat of a specialty of hers. “Obviously I’ll go with you. That means you have to go dress shopping with me, we’ll go tomorrow.” With that, she slid from his arms, halftime almost over. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

**+*+*+*+*+*+***

“Who’s hosting tonight?” asked Elide, the game over and won by Lorcan’s team, not that that was a surprise, Staghorn Secondary had the strongest team and dominated over every other school, as well as Orynth Secondary, Elide’s school. 

“Nobody, Fen and Con are never allowed to host again after last weekend and V is still grounded and Ro has plans.” Most likely with Aelin, the two had been skirting around a relationship for years.

“Fuck, that was so fun, though!” 

“Remember the next morning?” Lorcan nudged her, chuckling at the memory of her still faded the next day. 

“We don’t talk about that, what happens at Fen and Con’s, stays there.” She smiled at the memory, recalling how she had managed to convince Lorcan to go out and get her food, not that it ever took much for him to do something for her. She had him completely wrapped around her baby finger. “Oh, gods, and you hooked up with that girl, what’s her name?” 

Lorcan gritted his jaw, “Don’t remember.” 

“You so do, I’ll just ask Ace-” 

“Don’t you _fucking_ dare, she-devil. Leave it.” 

Elide cackled as she dug her hand into his pocket and grabbed his keys, sauntering off, his eyes on her ass in her green and gold cheer uniform, a mini-skirt that hit just above mid-thigh and a tight, long sleeved crop top, her dark hair pulled up into a tight ponytail and topped with a gold bow. He barely realized that she was in the driver’s seat and starting up the truck. 

“C’mon, I wanna get food,” she whined, honking the horn to get him to move from where he was frozen in place. “Hurry your skinny ass up!” 

Lorcan bared his teeth at Elide, “I’m thicker than a Snicker and you know it. You _wish_ you had cake like me.” She was completely unimpressed as he tossed his bag into the backseat and slammed the door shut, his shoulder barking in pain as he swung himself into the passenger seat.

Elide busied herself by adjusting her seat, moving it as far as it would go so that her feet could reach the pedals. She then jacked it up, still barely tall enough to see over the dash. Lorcan was utterly in love with her, _How does one person become so fucking cute and beautiful?_

Soon enough, she was pulling onto the road, the windows all the way down and the sunroof open. A couple moments later, trashy country music was blaring through the speakers and Elide was belting the lyrics, her voice like honey and sugar, even when it was hoarse after cheering. 

Lorcan just watched her, falling for her over and over again. With every little, teeny voice crack, his heart fluttered in his chest and eventually she glanced over at him, “Sing!” 

“Not gonna happen, princess.” To really make his point, he crossed his arms over his chest, shaking his head. “Turn up here,” he nodded his head to the road that they lived on. 

“I know where we live, you asshole, and yes, sing for me, you have such a pretty voice!” Elide pointed at him as she sang, _“But he don’t knooowwww…..”_

Lorcan rolled his eyes and sighed, but still, _“I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive, I carved my name into the leather seats…”_

Elide laughed and turned onto their road, _“Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, I slashed a hole in all four tires, maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats,”_ she sang, turning the music low as she pulled into his driveway. She sighed contentedly, shutting off the truck and hopping out before Lorcan had even unbuckled his seat belt. 

By the time he caught up to her, Elide was perched on the kitchen counter, swinging her legs as she spoke with his mother, Odette, she turned to stare at him with a look of complete disbelief, _You still haven’t told her, have you?_

He subtly shook his head and she sighed. Odette noticed his shoulder and glared as she moved closer, her long onyx hair swaying, “I told you not to play!” She began poking and prodding, turning her son this way and that. “You idiot, you’ve only made it worse!” 

“Leave me alone, Hellas below, I’m resting, I promise.” 

“You also promised us you wouldn’t play if it hurt,” commented Elide, munching on dry cereal, straight from the box. 

“Hey, E, fuck off,” he said, batting his mother’s hands away. “I’m fine, I’ll take an ice bath tonight, it’ll be fine.” 

“Ooh, sounds fun,” Elide teased, hopping off the counter. “‘K, I’m gonna go home and get some stuff and say good night to my parents, I shall return!” With that, Elide was gone, leaving out the back door attached to the kitchen. 

“You should tell her,” Odette stated, picking something off of his shirt. “You should hear how she talks about you when you’re not here, baby.”

“She talks about me like I’m her best friend. And that’s it.” 

“Oh, baby, you know I love you, but you are just so _mind-numbingly_ stupid.” 

**+*+*+*+*+*+***

Lorcan was sprawled across his bed when Elide arrived, her makeup washed and her hair in a messy bun on the top of her head. She still had on her uniform when she walked in. “Hey,” she greeted him, leaning over to kiss his cheek. 

Lorcan snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her into bed with him, nuzzling his face into her hair. “Hi.” 

She sighed and melted against him, “I’m gonna get changed and then I’m sleeping. I’m pooped.” 

He chuckled and nodded his head, sitting up and pressing his lips to her temple. “Me too.” 

She smiled softly and brushed his hair off his brow, her long nails scratching his scalp. It was times like these, these soft and warm and intimate moments when the words were sitting heavy on his tongue, but he couldn’t ruin any of these fleeting seconds, precious and so incredibly temporary. He stayed silent, grinning sleepily up at her. “I’ll be right back,” she murmured, seeming like she felt the fragility of this second and wanted to preserve it. 

Lorcan flopped back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling, cursing himself for everything. He was so, so fucked. Groaning slightly, his shoulder screaming in agony, he sat up and turned on his music, the soft vibes of Frank Ocean floating around the room. 

_Round the city, round the clock_

_Everybody needs you_

_No, you can’t make everybody equal_

_Although you got beaucoup family_

_You ain’t even got nobody being honest with you_

A soft grunt was pulled from him as a body launched onto his lap, pinning him to the bed.

His best friend was wearing a pair of his sweats, emblazoned with Staghorn Secondary’s mascot on the thigh, his number thirteen beneath it, as well as his initials. She wore a black sports bra, her thick hair still pulled into a bun. Elide grinned as she straddled his lap, holding up a container of something. 

Lorcan shook his head, “I’m not doing it.” 

Elide sighed and she unscrewed the cap, leaning back to place the lid on his bedside table. The scent of freshness permeated the air around them as she scooped out a dollop of the face mask with her finger, “You are.” 

“I don’t want-” 

Too late, his protests went unheard and Elide dabbed it on his cheek, her brows furrowed as she carefully spread the clay mask on his face, making sure to leave his stubble alone. “Come on, it makes your skin so so soft,” she said, a light sparking in her dark irises. 

Lorcan just sighed through his nose and let it happen, his hands running up her legs to hold her thighs. He resigned himself to the knowledge that Elide was the love of his life and he just didn’t have the luxury of being hers. 


	2. Part Two

The sun spilling through the window was what woke him and still half asleep, Lorcan reached across the bed, searching for what, he wasn’t exactly sure. 

When he felt nothing but empty sheets, he slowly sat up, his shoulder stiff and sore. He was alone in his room and he sighed, yawning as he rubbed his eyes and spotted a note with his name on it. 

He moved slowly, not completely conscious. Lorcan picked it up and read, 

_L,_

_I went home to change and get my wallet, I’ll be back at 9:30 to pick you up_

_-E_

The clock on his desk told him he had six minutes and Lorcan cursed, lunging out of bed. Elide Lochan wasn’t exactly known for her patience and would tear him a new one if he was late to go dress shopping for a dance he asked her to. Or, told her that she was his date. Semantics. 

He hastily tugged on a pair of black jeans, doing his belt up as fast as he could and he grabbed a t-shirt, a plain white one. Lorcan threw his hair up in a messy bun, held together with one of Elide’s scrunchies and he grabbed his leather jacket, nearly forgetting socks before he was shoving on his high-top chucks, once white, but after countless nights out and forgotten moments, they were slightly grey. He sacrificed a few precious seconds to cuff his jeans, Elide would understand. 

Lorcan crashed down the stairs, skittering to a stop when he saw Elide seated at the kitchen bar, slowly sipping on a cup of tea. She looked phenomenal, dressed in a cropped knit sweater and a high waisted plaid skirt, high socks pulled to her mid thigh. 

On her feet she wore a pair of platform Mary Janes, her long hair falling in soft waves down her back. Lorcan was silent as he gazed at her, his heart breaking and growing all at once. Elide turned, her mouth open like she was ready to yell at him to hurry up, but her plump lips, painted a deep burgundy spread into a wide smile, “How often do you spy on me, Salvaterre?” 

Elide slid off the stool, grabbing her keys and phone, waltzing up to him, her legs seeming like they went on for miles. “Kk, we gots to go, lots of shopping to do, Lor.” 

She slipped her hand into his elbow, scrunching her nose up at him, “What are you, deaf? Hi, how are you, why are you looking at me like that?” 

“Because you’re beautiful.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and his eyes widened as she blushed, ducking her head down. 

“Shut up.” 

**+*+*+*+*+*+***

“El,” he whined, “I don’t care what dress you choose, just pick one!” 

It had been hours, or so it seemed. She had dragged him behind her to every store possible. Lorcan had never learned more about different fabrics and prints and cuts and slit or no slit, what strap she wanted, what kind of neckline. Elide’s voice, tinged with irritation, “You’re the one who gave me no time to shop!” 

He felt kind of bad. All he had to do was say yes or no, but he usually just said I don’t care. And it was true, he didn’t. None of the dozens of dresses she had tried on felt right. They were too poofy, not poofy enough, too liquidy, too sparkly, he found little details that he didn’t like and decided he didn’t like the entire ensemble. 

Elide was the one who actually had to try on every damned dress and he could tell she was getting more and more tired, every time she slipped her hand into his elbow, she held on a little tighter and walked a little slower. 

The door opened and he heard the sound of fabric swishing, but he didn’t look up from his phone quite yet, busy fighting with Gavriel over text, trying to convince his coach to let him play at next week’s game. 

“Ahem,” Elide said, her hands on her hips when he finally deigned to glance up, flicking his gaze over the dress she wore. 

It was perfect. 

It was blood-red silk, spaghetti straps that attached to triangular shapes covering her chest, the neckline dipping down low, just enough to show some of her ample cleavage. It was tight around her taut stomach and tiny waist, slim around her hips and legs before flowing out gently just above her knees. There was a thigh high slit running up the left side, showing off the lean length of her leg when she walked. 

There was a small train that pooled on the floor behind her and when she spun slowly, he saw that the back dipped down to just above her ass. “I don’t know about-” 

“It’s perfect.” He couldn’t look away, slowly dragging his eyes up her body to meet her gaze, “It’s _perfect_ , El. Get it.” 

A small smile twisted her lips and it was she who looked away first, nodding as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “Ok, I’ll get it.” 

**+*+*+*+*+*+***

Ten minutes later, Elide was thanking the shop owner while they exited, her paper bag, her dress wrapped in wrapping paper, in Lorcan’s hand. 

“You and your boyfriend have a good day now, love,” the older woman said, her face kind. 

Elide laughed, shaking her head, “Oh, we’re not dating, we’re just friends. Best friends.”

The woman’s smile faded the slightest bit as Lorcan nodded, agreeing to Elide’s statement. “Just friends.” 

“Oh, well, have fun,” she said and she waved as Elide opened the door and they were out on the sidewalk. 

Elide was laughing beside him, “How many times do you think people have said that to us?” 

Too many and yet, not nearly enough because it was clear that Elide still didn’t get it. Not that he could blame her, he’d been in love with her for years and never said a word. He forced a laugh, the sound foreign in his ears, “I don’t know, I wonder why.” 

Elide shot him a quizzical glance, but before he could ask her what, it was gone and she was stopping in front of a store, a wicked glint in her eyes. Elide did not say a word as she dragged him in, letting go of his arm to clap her hands. 

Lorcan looked around and made a noise of protest, “El, why are we here?” he whisper shouted, scowling at her as he blushed, the store filled with lacy undergarments. 

Elide sighed, “None of the ones I have match.” She pouted, fingering a corset, her eyes travelling over everything. 

“And why does that matter? You’re my date and it’s not like we’re gonna fuck,” he shot back at her, gesturing between the two of them. His heart was pounding in his chest and he tried to keep his pulse in check. 

“So? They’re pretty and I want new ones,” she stated, patting his cheek and beckoning him behind her with a single finger. He followed her without question or hesitation, avoiding the gaze of every other person in the shop. “Just sit down in this room, I won’t be long.” 

He sighed and sat down on the plush couch, resigning himself to his fate. The floor-length mirrors on the walls surrounding him and the little pedestal in the middle, as well as the curtained area, told him what this room was. 

Lorcan groaned and dropped his head in his hands. 

He was so, _so_ fucked. 

**+*+*+*+*+*+***

“I just-” whined Elide, looking at herself in the mirror. She was clad in red lace, turning this way and that. “I fucking hate my tits, like, what?” 

It was no secret that Elide was… blessed in the chest department. They had always been above average, but senior year had gifted her with another growth spurt of sorts. Lorcan avoided looking at her now, knowing he wouldn’t be able to control the look in his eyes if he saw her. “What are you talking about?” 

“How have you not noticed? They’re fucking huge,” she cried, cupping them for emphasis. All the blood in his body shot south. 

Gods, he was not a good person. She was his best friend, the girl next door and all he could think about right now was marking her pale skin with handprints and dark hickeys as he bent her over the couch. 

Fuck, he needed to get out of here. _Old women, abandoned puppies, wart_ s, he thought as he dug his nails into his palms, waiting until he could stand perfectly normal. Elide turned and stared up at him, her brow quirked up. “And where do you think you’re going?” She cocked her hip to the side, her fingers drumming on the waist band. “We’re not done here.” 

She pointed to the couch and he sat back down, crossing his legs tightly. Elide turned her back to him, scrutinizing the set in the mirror. Lorcan let his eyes travel down her back, the red lace wrapped around her waist before travelling down to her ass. 

His gaze locked onto the curve of her backside, perfectly framed by the red panties. “See something you like?” questioned Elide, a teasing tone in her voice. 

It took everything in him to meet her eyes, willing his face to hide every thought racing through his mind. “The tag is sticking out.” Well, that was _partly_ true.

“Oh,” she said, sounding disappointed. “Tuck it in for me?” 

Lorcan breathed in deeply before slowly standing and walking up behind her, sending a shock through her lower back as his fingers brushed against her skin. “Sorry,” he murmured, tucking the tag back in for her. 

“‘T’s all good,” she replied, her gaze hooded as their eyes met in the mirror. 

It was he who spoke first, “Um, I’m gonna go get us a table at Mistward, alright?” 

Elide nodded vaguely, still holding his stare, “Mm-hmm, sounds good.”

Without another word, he left, clenching his jaw. 

_What the fuck was that?_

**+*+*+*+*+*+***

Lorcan was on his third coffee when Elide finally arrived, dropping down in the seat across from him, a little paper bag with ribbon handles placed on the table between them. 

It seemed whatever had happened was forgotten as she plucked his cup from his hands and sipped, making a disgusted face, “Ugh, I forgot you drank coffee. Can you fetch me a tea, love?” 

Although it was phrased as a question, it was nothing of the sort, it was a command and Lorcan stood, smiling despite himself. “Yeah, one sec.” 

“Ooh,” she exclaimed, popping her chin on her fist, “a cranberry-orange muffin would be amazing as well.” She crossed her left leg over her right and swung her foot, smiling lazily up at him. 

“You’re lucky I like you so much,” Lorcan commented as he backed away and turned, walking up to the counter. He heard Elide’s tinkling laughter behind him and couldn’t stop the smile that grew. 

The barista called for the next person and he stepped forward, “Hey.” 

“Hi, what can I get for you today?” 

He perused the menu, but it was unnecessary, “I’ll get a sixteen ounce Earl Grey and do y’all got cranberry-orange muffins today?” 

The barista smiled at him, his voice smooth and even, “Yeah, want that warmed up?” 

“Oh, no, it’s fine.” Lorcan pulled out his wallet, “I think that’s all for now, man.” 

“Perfect and it’s for here, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he said, nodding his head. “And it’s on card, please.” 

“Alright,” the barista, his name tag reading ‘Nox’, turned the tablet over to Lorcan, indicating where he could pay, “go for it.” 

Lorcan tipped and paid the man, moving to stand by the pick-up counter, accepting the muffin set on a little round plate. He took it back to Elide, who had her eyes closed and her face tipped to the sun. “El,” he said, putting her muffin down in front of her. He didn’t sit, simply stood up straight and went to lean against the wall by the counter. 

A few moments later, a familiar body, one he knew nearly as well as his own, slid up beside him. Elide tucked herself into his side, her fingers toying with the silver chain around his neck. Lorcan wrapped his arm around her shoulders and folded her in, her forehead resting against his sternum, his chin on her head. 

He felt her smile into his chest and she fingered the zipper on his jacket.

“Lorcan, you know that I love you, right?” she whispered. 

“Yeah, I know, I know that,” he responded, not letting his broken soul shine through his voice, “Love you too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im also on tumblr @nalgenewhore! (i post there more regularly)


	3. Part Three

Lorcan honked his horn before he realized he should probably actually walk up and knock on Elide’s door.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had strode up the stone pathway and up the stairs, taking them two at a time. There were big butterflies flapping around his gut and he hadn’t known it would be this nerve-wracking. It was Elide, for Hellas’ sake. His best friend. And nothing more.

He repeated it like a mantra, _nothing more, nothing more, nothing more_ , as he raised his fist to rap on the door, but before he could, Elide was opening it and he was starstruck.

She looked… like a goddess.

Her hair was pulled back into a low bun, a string of silver pendants twisted in it. Her earrings were silver hoops and she wore matching rings on her slim fingers. Her face was bare save for a deep red lipstick that matched her dress and a sharp winged eyeliner.

He couldn’t find the words, just stood there, drinking her in until she punched his shoulder, “I said hello, are you even listening?” Her voice was confident, but she still shifted on her silver heels. “Can we go? Lorcan?”

“Y-Yeah, let’s, let’s go,” he stammered, unable to take his eyes off of her. “Sorry, it’s, you look amazing.”

Elide smiled, an easy and deep grin, “Thank you, now let’s go before my parents insist on photos.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Three hours later, they were ready to go. The cadre was sprawled over the bleachers, all eyes on the girls who still danced.

Lorcan watched Elide, dancing with Lysandra and Borte. Her back was to him and she glanced over her shoulder, like she could feel his stare. Lorcan angled his head to the door, indicating that the guys were ready to leave and go to Aelin’s, who was hosting the after party.

Elide nodded and turned back to her girls and soon enough, they were joining the boys as they stood and made their way around other students to the doors.

The sounds of not entirely sober chatting soon filled the air as people piled into cars, not caring that there weren’t enough seats. Lorcan climbed into his truck, the vehicle filled with teenagers ready to go absolutely wild for one last night in high school.

He saw Elide in the rear-view mirror sitting in the pickup bed with Fenrys and Nehemia, all three of them dissolving into fits of hysterical giggling. He grinned and started up the truck, following Rowan’s car as they drove to Aelin’s house, set on a sprawling piece of property in the middle of nowhere.

Lysandra was sitting next to him and smirked as his eyes kept sliding back to look at Elide in the mirror. “Oh, you are so fucked.”

He really was.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Rowan cheered as Lorcan sunk the last cup, the two of them leaning on each other as they lorded their win over Aelin and Elide. “Y’all friggin suck,” said Rowan, his voice sluggish from the various drinks he’d consumed.

Lorcan laughed, every movement more joyful after the blunt he’d smoked with Nesryn and Asterin. “We’re the fucking kings!”

Aelin flipped both of them off, the two girls still in all their finery, but they had both ditched their heels. “It’s not exactly fair, all you guys do is throw balls.” Elide cackled, tipping her head back.

The sweet smoke flowing through him made everything soft and warm and all he wanted to do right now was hold Elide. She was the best hugger. Lorcan picked up his cup and drank the remaining contents. When he put it down, his eyes met Elide’s and she exclaimed, “Let’s dance!”

Elide held her hand out for his and Lorcan grinned as he gladly accepted. She was quick to tug him to the living room, where every piece of furniture had been pushed to the side to make a large space in the middle.

The lights were turned off and there were flashing lights of pink, green, blue, and white over the walls. The bass pumped through the sound system and rocked the floor. He didn’t know what Elide was planning to do until she was pressed against his front and they were moving like they had been born to do this.

His hands found themselves gripping her hips, her dress bunching up in his fingers. Elide’s hand slid up around his neck, her fingers slipping into the hair at the nape of his neck. Her ass ground back into the cradle of his hips as they danced, the music washing over them and running through their veins.

Although that little, niggling voice in his head was telling him that this was wrong and they shouldn’t be doing this, Lorcan couldn’t walk away from this.

How could something be wrong if it felt like the most natural thing he’d ever done in his life?

Why shouldn’t they do this, if he’d never felt like this before?

Lorcan decided that he would deal with whatever came next, if he could just be with her like they were more than what they were just for now. Just for now, he would bare his soul and heart to her.

Just for now, he wouldn’t hide a thing.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

The guys were splayed across the patio couches, passing a joint around, not really talking.

Their high school career was coming to an end and they were moving across the continent, away from each other. Fenrys had his head on the cushion next to Lorcan, his legs hanging off the arm of the couch. His eyes were barely open as he looked at Lorcan, smiling wickedly, “Did y’all happen to see a lil something something on the dance floor? Looking very heated with Ellie there, bud.”

The rest of the boys started cheering, heckling Lorcan as he took the joint from Connall and slowly dragged in a breath of the sweet and bitter smoke. He held it on his tongue, swirling it around before breathing in again and it flowed to his lungs. “Man, whatever, it’s not like it meant anything.”

Rowan sat up quickly, or as quickly as someone who was both drunk and high could, “Really? Cause I heard Ellie talking to Aelin and she was saying something about it.”

The back door opened and they fell silent, looking up to find Elide standing there, her eyes on Lorcan. She realized other people were here and blushed slightly, but Lorcan was sure it was from the drinks she’d had. “Oh, hey, guys. Y’all mind if I join?”

There was a chorus of ‘not at all, come on,’ and she let a small grin twist her lips. As she made her way to the couches, Vaughan was the first to stand, “I’m going in, anyone wanna join me?”

Connall and Rowan stood, understanding what Vaughan was saying. Fenrys stayed where he was and lazily blew out the smoke, giggling as he watched it twirl and curl. “Nah, man, I’m chillin’ like a villain, is all good.”

Connall sighed and then walked to where his twin was laying. Fenrys made a noise of protest when the joint was taken from him and passed to Elide and then he was being pulled up from the couch and dragged inside.

Elide chuckled and then it was just them.

The air felt colder and dry now, a sense of tension clouding over them. With an irritated sigh, Elide dropped into his lap, her legs slung over his.

They didn’t say a thing as she smoked and Lorcan trailed his fingers up and down the leg that was shown through the high slit of her dress.

She held the joint to his mouth, her fingers brushing against his lips as he sucked in some of the smoke, the tip glowing red. He kept his eyes on hers as he pushed it down into his lungs and held it there, shifting his head to breathe it out into the night.

Lorcan’s other hand came to rest on her waist and slowly, so slowly, Elide set the joint down and turned to him, their breaths mingling as they stared.

Everything moved in slow motion. Elide cupped his face in her hands and he didn’t know who moved first before they were kissing.

Her lips were soft and full against his as they moved, like they were drinking in the feeling. Her tongue traced the seam of his lips and he opened for her, groaning low in his chest at the first brush of her tongue against his.

It was unhurried and thorough, like the other was something that needed to be studied in fine detail.

It could’ve been an eternity or a split second before Elide was sitting up, gasping as they broke apart. He couldn’t find the words he wanted to say and then she was standing and backing away. “El-”

“I need to go home.”

“What? No, you’re staying here tonight, you told me-”

“I just- I need to go home. I’m just gonna drive home.”

Lorcan stood at that, to tell her it was dangerous for her to drive, he’d call her a cab if she wanted, but she was already gone.

He wanted to chase after her, he should’ve chased after her and explained everything, but he couldn’t. If they had really just ruined it all, he wasn’t in any hurry to find out.

Lorcan stayed outside, smoking until there was nothing left and then he stood, staggering inside. Rowan was the first person he ran into when he entered the kitchen. “Dude, what the fuck just happened?”

Lorcan didn’t answer and reached into Aelin’s secret stash, pulling out an unopened bottle of whiskey. He said nothing until he had ripped the cap off and chugged for a good five seconds. Rowan asked again, “Lorcan, Ellie ran in here crying and now she won’t leave Aelin’s room. What the fuck happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean ‘I don’t know’?” questioned Rowan, pressing to get to the truth.

“Rowan,” he said, his tone tired and angry, “I don’t know, ok? I don’t know what the fuck just happened.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im also on tumblr @nalgenewhore! (i post there more regularly)


	4. Part Four

Lorcan couldn’t remember the last time he felt this bad. He couldn’t even remember how he got home the night before.

A blinding light cut through his window to wake him and he staggered to his feet, his head pounding as he pulled the blinds closed, for once not looking to Elide’s window, her bedroom facing his. 

The room was plunged into darkness and he stumbled back to his bed, tripping over something and conveniently falling onto the mattress. 

Lorcan burrowed further under his duvet and wrapped his arms around a pillow, groaning when it smelled like Elide’s shampoo. He couldn’t escape her. When he closed his eyes, all he saw was her face after they kissed, shocked and, and _heartbroken_. 

He could still see the tears welling in her eyes before she turned and fled back into the house. 

Fuck. _Fuck_. He should’ve run after her, should’ve talked to her about it, but no. No, he’d been a coward and stayed outside until he was numb enough to step foot in and drink until he couldn’t remember. 

There came a soft knock on his door and he groaned, the only noise he could make. He was surprised to see Rowan standing there, a smirk on his face. 

“Fuck off,” Lorcan muttered, shifting away from his brother. He heard Rowan sigh and enter into the room, the bed dipping beneath his frame as he sat. “Rowan, I said fuck off and I meant it-” 

“Why are you so pissy?” 

“Because I ruined everything!” yelled Lorcan, his throat hoarse and dry as he sat up quickly, his head pounding. “I completely fucked our whole friendship up and-” his breath hitched and tears pooled in his eyes, “I messed up, man.” He angrily wiped his cheeks, the backs of his hands coming away wet. 

Shock was swimming in his brother’s green eyes, worry in the furrow of his brows, “What, did you say something or-” 

“We kissed.” _And it was the best thing I’ve ever felt in my entire life and I am completely head over heels in love with her, but she doesn’t and will never know._ “I kissed her and she looked fucking heartbroken. I did that.” _I broke her heart._

“Oh gods.” 

**+*+*+*+*+*+***

It was hours before Lorcan managed to curb his self-pitying wallowing session and got up from bed, his mouth dry and his tongue sticky. He tugged on a pair of sweat shorts and ran his hand through his hair before walking downstairs. Rowan had left a few hours ago so it was just him. 

His mom was away for work this weekend and for that he was grateful. He could only imagine the berating she would unleash upon him. Odette Salvaterre wasn’t one to easily let her son off the hook. 

Lorcan was at the top of the staircase before he realized he should probably brush his teeth and use the amenities. 

A few minutes later, he emerged, a tad bit more awake he had been prior. He had found his phone, dead, resting on top of the toilet tank and for a second, he thought maybe he would let it stay dead, until he was ready to deal with it. 

Cursing himself, he plugged it in and walked away from it, rooting through the fridge for any type of fresh, cold fruit. 

He found a bag of oranges and took it out, grabbing the water that was sitting in a jug. Lorcan hip checked the fridge door to close it and then placed the oranges and water on the counter. His phone started blowing up, buzzing so aggressively it fell to the floor. “Fuck,” he said, jogging to pick it up. There were no new scratches or cracks on the screen and he thanked Hellas for that. 

Lorcan typed in his password, the date of Elide’s birthday, as he made his way back to the counter. He opened up Snapchat and began the long process of clicking through everybody’s stories. He didn’t even look at any of the pictures or videos, just kept tapping on the screen to get through them. 

After he had opened and replied to everything he’d been sent, he noticed Elide had sent him a chat. 

His heart began pounding so hard in his chest that he could hear it. His hands shook as he tapped on the little blue chat notification, his eyes wide. He was sure that this would be the message where she told him they couldn’t be friends anymore. 

All it read was, _You need to get a new suit for my prom. Yours won’t match my dress._

Lorcan froze, was that really all she had to say? He checked his notifications and that was the only thing she’d sent him. 

Still shaking, he typed out, _You still want me to be your date?_

Elide’s icon popped up and she was typing. _Well, yeah, that was the plan_.

His brow furrowed, _What about what happened last night though?_

Elide’s reply took a few extra moments. _We don’t have to make a big deal out of it, it’s not like it really mattered or meant anything._

Lorcan felt his heart crack and shatter to pieces. Knowing if he didn’t do it now, he would never do it, he tapped out a quick message, a question. _What if I want it to mean something?_

He knew that she had seen it, but no message followed through. Lorcan groaned and let his head fall to the marble counter, his forehead hitting the flat surface. _Good job fucking ruining the most important relationship in your life, Lorcan. Great effort, bud!_

Lorcan sat up, no, this wouldn’t be the end, their decade long friendship would not end over eight words. He unlocked his phone and called her, but it went straight to voicemail. He groaned as the automated message played and after the beep, “El, listen, I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I don’t want to ruin us. Please, please just call me back?” 

He hung up and stood up, almost ready to race to her house and throw rocks at her window if he had to. Just as he was hurrying to the door, somebody knocked impatiently. He cursed the gods, he didn’t need any interruptions right now, he was trying to save the most important thing to him. 

Putting on a mildly pleasant face, he opened the door only to find Elide standing there, her phone held tight in her grasp. He couldn’t help the way his eyes travelled down her body. She wore one of his long-sleeve shirts, his name and number on the right sleeve. It hit mid thigh but he knew she would be wearing a pair of spandex shorts beneath it. “El-” 

“Did you mean that?” On her screen read that damning message. 

Lorcan just stared at her, weighing his options. He settled on telling her the truth, “Yes, I meant it. I’m in love with you, Elide. I have been for years. I- I shouldn’t have kissed you last night and I’m sorry if-” 

She cut him off with her finger on his lips, “Shush, you idiot. I’m in love with you too.” A warm smile spread her lips as she looked up at him, giggling at the utter shock on his face. 

“You are?”

“Yes,” she breathed, nodding her head. “Yes, gods, I’m so in love with you, I’m going crazy. I stayed in bed all day cause I was scared if I left and talked to you, you would tell me you didn’t want to be friends anymore.”

“But the message-” 

Elide shook her head, “I just, I was waiting for you to say something, but then I realized that it’s _you_. You’d never say anything. I wanted to seem like I was fine with it because if it didn’t mean anything to you, that would’ve wrecked me, but I still would’ve wanted to be your friend.” There were tears caught in her lashes and he cupped her face, running his thumb underneath her eye. 

“It meant everything to me, El. Everything.” 

She laughed tearfully, resting her cheek in his palm. “I love you,” she whispered, biting her bottom lip. Lorcan grinned as he leaned down and cupped the back of her head, pressing his lips to hers. 

He felt her smile against his lips and she wound her arms around his neck. His hands traveled down to her thighs and in one smooth motion, he picked her up. Her legs looped around his waist and he kicked the door shut behind them, carrying her to the kitchen counter. “I love you,” he said against her lips, his heart feeling tight in his chest. 

Elide gasped slightly as the coolness of the marble hit her bare skin and she pulled away, smiling softly at him. Lorcan grinned back at her and kissed her brow before sitting in the stool, his head resting against her thigh. Elide chuckled and ran her hand through his hair, “I can’t believe it.” 

“What do you mean,” he asked, his eyes half open. 

Elide shrugged, “I never thought that this would ever happen. I thought that I would only ever be your best friend and nothing more.” 

Lorcan opened his eyes fully and looked up at her, swallowing past the lump in his throat, “Well, thank gods for liquor and weed, then.” He smirked as Elide smacked his shoulder and grew serious, tears pooling in his eyes. He’d almost lost her, had come so close to it. “Me too, E.” 

Elide leaned down to kiss his temple, “What’s with the water and oranges?” 

Lorcan groaned and buried his face in her thigh, “Hangover. Apparently I went a little too hard last night.” She laughed and he muttered into the soft skin of her leg, “Are you laughing at my misery?” 

She shook her head, still laughing, “No, I’m not, I promise.” Elide cackled, “Maybe a little.” 

“You’re a menace.”

“A menace that you’re in love with,” she said, a cocky grin on her face as he stood up. Elide hooked a finger in the chain hanging around his neck and tugged him forward, brushing her lips over his. 

“That I am.” He kissed her slowly, his hands gripping her thighs. Elide groaned and parted her lips, allowing his tongue to slide lazily in and tangle with hers. Her arms looped around his shoulders, her knees hitching over his hips. 

When Lorcan broke apart from her, she whined, the sound turning into a low and full moan as he began to trail his lips down her jaw and neck, grazing his teeth over her pulse. “What colour will you have me wear this time, love?” 

Her breath hitched and she breathed out her answer, her voice high and airy, “Black.” 

Lorcan’s hands tightened on her thighs, “You’ll be the death of me, Elide Lochan.” He pulled away and held her face in his hand, her cheeks squished together in his grip, “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im also on tumblr @nalgenewhore! (i post there more regularly)

**Author's Note:**

> im also on tumblr @nalgenewhore! (i post there more regularly)


End file.
